


If I Could Tell Him

by haileylikestowrite



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miraculous Ladybug AU, Oops, This Is Sad, boyfs, deere kind of, deh song fic, its a song fic but the song part starts at the end, sorry that i killed him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 00:48:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18297056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haileylikestowrite/pseuds/haileylikestowrite
Summary: Being a superhero means you have to sacrifice yourself.





	If I Could Tell Him

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on instagram and tumblr @haileylikestowrite and on twitter @ao3haileywrite !

The city of New York had two sets of superheroes, both groups consisting of three members. All six of them had one common enemy, the man who referred to himself as The Squip. These groups spent many days and nights fighting the supervillain and the poor person he brainwashed for the day. It was a rough job -as fighting any superpower would be- but the fact that the two groups didn’t get along in the slightest only increased the difficulty.

The first group, also known as the Golden Three, was the public’s obvious favorite. First in the group was Queen Bee, who had the power called  _ Venom _ . Queen Bee was a strong, persistent girl who was dressed in head-to-two yellow and black. Next was Chat Noir with his power of  _ Cataclysm _ . Chat Noir was a huge flirt and told probably what was worst of puns ever said, but he was capable of being serious long enough to defend the city. Finally, there was Ladybug and her  _ Lucky Charm _ . Ladybug was the group's leader and the one who got most of the credit for saving the day.

In the second group, often referred to as the Sidekicks, weren’t as popular. Rena Rouge, the exciting fox character, referred to her power as the  _ Mirage _ . Rena Rouge was hyper and always smiling, no matter the danger they were in. Then there was Mayura, the stunning girl with the power of  _ Transformation _ . Mayura, an elegant hero, was a favorite to those who enjoyed the fashion world. Lastly, the leader of the Sidekicks, there was Draco and his intense  _ Dragon Breath _ . Draco, though a caring and observant spirit, had strong, negative emotions towards Ladybug.

Draco often argued that Ladybug and his crew were too inconsiderate. He criticized the way the three fought, saying that their reckless behavior was going to get a bystander hurt. More often than not, a building would fall, a bridge would be destroyed, or something maybe worse would happen due to the  _ Cataclysm  _ power. Although the moment that Ladybug cleansed the Akuma that took over the poor toy of the Squip the destruction on the city was restored, Draco claimed that this would one day cause the death of a bystander, or even the enemy that was being manipulated, and he felt that Ladybug was doing nothing to prevent this behavior. Ladybug would deny the allegations made by Draco, saying that he was being ridiculous. 

It took about a year before all six of the superheroes were aware of who was behind each mask… and it didn’t end very pretty. When Michael Mell, the holder of the Dragon Miraculous, discovered his long-term crush, Jeremy Heere, was Ladybug, he got up and left the room. Madeline Patterson, or Mayura, stood to chase after him. Jeremy, who had a crush on Michael, felt his heartbreak into many small pieces. Christine Canigula (Rena Rogue), Jake Dillinger (Chat Noir), and Brooke Lohst (Queen Bee) comforted the crying boy. It hurt to know the one person who Jeremy felt a connection to was the one who hated a version of him so much.

Though Michael felt guilty, he refused to even look towards Jeremy. Michael loved Jeremy and would do anything to tell him so, but he couldn’t support the way he was fighting the enemy. It conflicted him, and it hurt worse when Jeremy began to date Jake Dillinger. At that point, Michael knew he had fucked up the relationship the two could have had. Not only that, but he also had been friends with Jake since they were children. He couldn’t destroy the relationship of a friend that felt so much like family. So, he decided to keep it professional, only speaking to Ladybug in the form of Draco. There was nothing else he could do but let Jake make Jeremy happy. 

About three months after Jake and Jeremy got together, the most dangerous of any fight they had participated in began. At this point in time, all six of the superheroes were working as one force. The hypnotized citizen, referring to herself as Dark Knight, was throwing a surplus of swords and daggers at the six. This was the first time that one of the victims was actually out for blood, and it was honestly terrifying for the group. In the middle of the fight, Ladybug and Draco decided it would be best for the group to split into two in order for a distraction. In one group, there would be Mayura, Ladybug, and Queen Bee. The other would consist of Chat Noir, Draco, and Rena Rogue. The plan was that Rena Rogue, Draco, and Chat Noir would create a distraction so that the other three could stun Dark Knight and destroy the mask that had the Akuma was stationed in. However, the plan both failed and succeeded.

Chat Noir was looking for Dark Knight, standing on top of an abandoned car in the middle of the street. A dumb, reckless move that Michael would have probably criticized. However, the hero was unaware that Dark Knight was right behind him, preparing to shoot a dagger straight at the unsuspecting hero. Draco caught sight of the dagger flying towards Chat, and he impulsively jumped in front of it. The entire event happened in slow motion to those who watched. Ladybug, Mayura, and Queen Bee had just appeared on top of the building when the dagger ran right through Draco’s chest. Rena Rogue and Chat Noir turned around to see the commotion, as Mayura had screamed. Chat Noir caught the injured hero in his arms while Queen Bee quickly stunned Dark Knight and Ladybug jumped down to quickly get rid of the Akuma. 

Chat Noir held Draco while Mayura ran towards them and the other three were trying to get an ambulance. Tears fell from their eyes as they slowly watched the life drain from Michael’s eyes. “J...Jake,” Michael coughed, “Ple….please take care of Jere…” Jake shook his head. “Michael, Mikey, you’re going to live… No, come on, you can't go-” “Promise… me y-you’re going to love… h-him,” Michael insisted, his own tears running down his face. “I promise, Mikey.” Mayura held onto Michael’s hand the entire time, begging him not to say such dumb things because he was going to be fine. However, the three knew the fate of their childhood friend.

The ambulance arrived too late, as Michael’s Miraculous had turned itself off. He died in the arms of Chat Noir and holding Mayura’s hand- no, he died in the arms of Jake Dillinger, a life long friend of his, while holding the hand of Madeline Patterson, the one he told all his secrets to. There was a soft smile on Michael’s face as he closed his eyes, and there were loud sobs coming from Mayura. As if on cue, it began to rain on the five heroes and their fallen friend. 

 

~

 

The funeral took place about two weeks later. The five heroes made a statement saying that they would not be attending Michael Mell’s funeral in their superhero form, but their civilian form, as they had known him personally. This was mostly to avoid having too much press at the funeral. Michael had hated the press and how insensitive it got, so why would they allow it at his funeral? No, he deserved a proper funeral and burial. It would have been what he wanted.

Michael’s parents, Amanda and Arabelle Mell, had created a beautiful service for their lost son. Madeline and Jake helped them, as they had known Michael since they were toddlers. Though one could say Jake helped so much due to a guilty conscious. Most of the city had attended the service, but only those who were close to Michael could go to the burial. Michael’s parents, Jake, Madeline, Christine, Brooke, Jeremy, and the rest of his family watched them bury their friend. 

After the burial, Jeremy sat on a bench far away from the site, needing to think. So many emotions had gone on in the following weeks after Michael’s passing, and he still couldn’t figure them out. It wasn’t long before Madeline sat next to Jeremy, her mascara running due to her tears staining her cheeks. “So much for waterproof mascara,” Madeline joked quietly, getting a little laugh from Jeremy. They sat in silence for a bit, taking in the view of the sun right before sunset. “He hated me, didn’t he?” Jeremy finally said after a few minutes, ”I mean, he hated Ladybug… so he had to have hated me just as much.”

Madeline looked at Jeremy, wiping her eyes with her tissue, before shaking her head. “Hate you?” she repeated, ”No, Michael could never hate you, Jeremy.” Madeline meant those words, but Jeremy didn’t look even remotely convinced. “Madeline, he ignored me for months! How could you say he didn’t hate me?” he said, closing his eyes and trembling a bit. Madeline couldn’t believe what Jeremy was saying, but maybe that’s because Michael had spilled his guts to her. “Jeremy, Michael thought you were  _ amazing, _ ” Madeline said, her eyes going to the sky in front of them. “Michael Mell thought I, Ladybug, was amazing? Bullshit,” Jeremy huffed, opening his eyes. The sky was orange now. “Of course he did!” “How?”

Madeline thought for a minute, going through the many conversations that they had about Jeremy. Michael had been completely in love with Jeremy, and she knew those feelings didn’t stop after the reveal. “Well, he said that nothing could  _ ever  _ compare to your smile,” she started, ”Michael would tell me that you would never realize how wonderful that smile made everyone, especially him, feel.” Jeremy’s eyes widened, a soft blush forming on his face, ”No he didn’t-” “Don’t interrupt me.”

Madeline smiled a bit, looking down at her hands. “Michael was so observant of you, Jeremy. He would always point out the stars and hearts you drew in the corners of your notes for class,” she said quietly, blinking back the tears that were threatening her eyes once more, “He thought it was adorable when you and Brooke answered those silly BuzzFeed quizzes that popped up on your discovery page.” Jeremy was in shock that Michael had noticed all of that, not expecting him to know so much- or even talk about him like this, really. “Did… did Michael say anything else?” Jeremy asked curiously. Madeline smiled, “About you?” Jeremy turned red, shaking his head. “No-no I don’t really care actually, it doesn’t matter-” “He said so many things, Jeremy. It’s hard to decide which were the best ones.”  
The last comment shocked Jeremy even more. How much did Michael talk about him, and how much did he really notice? Jeremy didn’t understand how he himself didn’t notice this about Michael. “Remember when you put a bit of makeup on for school?” Madeline asked before her eyes met Jeremy’s. “Oh God, yeah, I looked ridiculous… I shouldn’t have let Brooke do that,” Jeremy mumbled. “Well, funny, because Michael told me he thought you looked _beautiful_ ,” she shrugged, remembering Michael’s heart eyes and smiling more. “Wait, really?” Jeremy asked as he thought he genuinely thought he looked kind of dumb with that eyeshadow on. 

“And he wondered, all of the time, how you could be so confident when you were fighting a villain,” Madeline added, “Michael thought you were the bravest person in the world.” Out of all the things Madeline had said, that surprised Jeremy the most. “Michael thought I was… brave? Wow…” Jeremy looked down at his hands in his lap, taking a shaky breath. Tears fell from his eyes, and Madeline put a hand on his shoulder. “He kept… all of this, all of his feelings, in his head,” she whispered, her voice cracking, “Everything he saw, every detail, he left unsaid. Do you want to know how he started every statement he made about you?” Jeremy took another deep breath before nodding. 

Madeline closed her eyes to stop the tears. “He always started out with, ’If I could tell him.’ Jere, you don’t realize how bad he wanted to tell you how he felt.” Madeline opened her eyes, only to be surprised by what she saw in front of her. There Michael was standing tall, staring into the sunset. He turned to look at her, a sad smile on his face. “If I could tell him everything I see,” he said to her, “If I could tell him how he’s everything to me.” Madeline felt the tears fall down her face as she watched Michael turn to Jeremy. “But we’re a million worlds apart, and I have no idea how I would even start.”

“But what do you do when there is this… this divide between you and the one you care about?” Madeline asked softly, her teary eyes still on Michael. Jeremy shook his head, not knowing the answer to the question. “He just… God, Michael felt like he was so far away. Like he was on a completely different wavelength than the one I was on.” Madeline watched as Michael walked over to Jeremy, placing his hands on the others cheek. “And… what do you do when the distance is far too wide to run through?” she asked, wiping her tears from her cheek. “Madeline, it’a like I never knew anything about him!” Jeremy said as he closed his eyes.

“How...How do you say ‘I love you?’” Madeline asked, choking back more tears. “I love you,” Jeremy whispered, wiping the tears from his eyes. Michael closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Jeremy’s. ”I love you,” Michael repeated. Madeline let out a sob, ”I love you.” Jeremy shook his head a little, opening his eyes and looking into the distance, unaware that he was staring straight into Michael’s eyes. The sun was far enough down that the stars began to show. “But we’re a million worlds apart,” Jeremy whispered, “And.. honestly have no idea where I would start... if I could tell him.”

Michael pressed a kiss to Jeremy’s forehead before standing up, turning his head to Madeline. “I love you, Maddie… take care of them for me,” he said before the wind blew, turning her best friend to dust. Madeline grabbed Jeremy’s hand and pulled him into a hug. The two teenage superheroes sobbed into each other's shoulders.

“Bye, Mikey,” she whispered, promising that she would protect their friends in her head.

**Author's Note:**

> I am... so sorry about that? I hope you enjoyed! Should I continue to add oneshots from events that took place before and after Michael's death? Just wondering!


End file.
